I have always wanted my prayers answered. Who hasn’t? And I have always wanted to hear a voice of authority, male or female, coming down from on high to direct my life at crucial junctures and in moments of excruciating indecision. But nobody seemed to be giving out instructions from “up there” when I most needed them.
“You have to be still–be quiet–to receive these messages,” admonished my daughters, both spiritual practitioners.
“Still? I AM still,” I insisted.
“No,” they said. “The engine is always running and the clatter of busyness never leaves you. Quiet is not your strong suit.”
But when it comes to taking chances and risking a walk into the unknown, I am assured by my daughters that the unseen spirit I so yearn for is right there keeping me from falling off a cliff, or a moving train, or into the side of an Indian taxicab. Yes, I have had some major close calls over the years and luck doesn’t seem to be the whole answer.
When I hung from my right knee on a strap in the third tier of a third class Indian train a year ago today, plummeting to the floor and being caught by my companion seconds before my head would have hit the floor, it seemed a miracle that I walked—hobbled–away. And when I found a vegetable stand to throw myself into, avoiding a direct hit by another out-of-control Indian driver, that was definitely a blessing, ‘though the owner of the stand might disagree. Obviously, I can’t rely entirely on this hovering helper, but the fact that I keep going back for more says that I have a strong belief in the “protection” of the universe. Still, I remind myself to guard against doing something completely stupid.
I have tried meditation and yoga (I am totally inflexible!) and quieting the inner beast, but action of a rather constant variety seems to be my modus operandi and is securely imbedded in my DNA. Perhaps, someday, the Angel may get through to me, or I may have to wait until she greets me on the “other side” with an “It’s been a great ride, hasn’t it?” Then I will know for sure that my daughters were right and I do have a Guardian Angel. And I will thank her with all my heart.
May your Guardian Angel love and protect you all through 2012….